If You Want to Know What's REALLY Going on in Ukraine You Had Best Talk to Barbie

 Human Barbie Offers Scary Insights into Russian-Ukraine Crisis

I was confused at first with the latest international crisis ping-ponging from the Ukraine, to Crimea, to Russia and back to another region of the Ukraine. And now someone was even talking about nuking someone else. That's when I sat up and took notice.  It turned out the business about the nukes was bogus.  But I did happen upon an insightful interview in GQ Magazine with a Ukrainian lady who calls herself the Human Barbie.

Her name is Valeria Lukyanova and believe you me, she's no diplomat.  In fact, since she appears to be from the ethnic Russian side (rather than an actual Ukrainian), I fear Vladimir Putin may already have lost "the hearts and minds" of everyone who hears more about this woman's views. In the interview, Ms. Barbie bragged that she had only had plastic surgery on her breasts.  But the reason women were getting uglier and uglier, and thus more in need of plastic surgery was because of "race mixing."     According to Barbie, who bytheway is also repulsed by kids (although hopefully not as repulsed as the woman in Utah who killed her seven newborns, stuff them in shoeboxes, and forgot them in her garage when she moved). Sorry, I did get off topic.  In any case Ms. Barbie said:

     "For example, a Russian marries an Armenian. They have a kid, a cute girl, but she has her dad's nose. She goes and files it down a little, and it's all good. Ethnicities are mixing now, so there's degeneration, and it didn't used to be like that. Remember how many beautiful women there were in the 1950s and 1960s, without any surgery? And now, thanks to degeneration, we have this. I love the Nordic image myself. I have white skin; I am a Nordic type—perhaps a little Eastern Baltic, but closer to Nordic."

I'm almost ready to apologize to the Tea Party for labeling them "Nazis," now that I'm glimpsing a bonafided version of that European-rooted mindset. At the same time, I do feel a sadness and sorrow for this young woman.  I hope she is able to use this thoroughly creative opportunity she built for herself to escape the little doll house she inadvertently imprisoned herself in.